Start with a joke.

@FootballFunnys: BREAKING: If you spot a Reading FC fan walking a dog, tell them to ring 0800 4-0 5-5 5-7 for advice on how to hold onto a lead.

McDermott, despite all the calls for his head, is sticking around.

@NabilHassan79: #readingfc Nice touch of Zingarevich to take McDermott out for a beer after Arsenal loss and reassure him about his job

Well, we didn't beat QPR, but ALF did get an undeserved yellow.

@RoyalRambler: Can’t believe that’s a yellow. ALFie jumps straight back up and doesn’t appeal at all.

@SamJessettRFC: Feel if that was taarabt getting fouled in box instead of alf it would have been a penalty due to reaction and qpr being at home

Still without a win, this tweeter puts it eloquently.

@EastStandNapz: Getting this first win is as difficult as pushing custard up a hill :( #readingfc

Whilst this fella reckons Reading fans are fickle. No, surely not?

@BucksRoyal: As soon as we get that first win of the season, a big chunk of the McDermott out squad'll get right behind us, just you wait and see

Meanwhile, former Royal Shane Long impressed for West Brom.

@Luke_Massey: Hearing WBA chant 'there's only one Shane Long' is like seeing your ex out with someone else!! #readingfc #ShaneLongIsARoyal

@TomLightRFC: Shane Long still doing us massive favours, even if he is at another club. Good lad! #readingfc

@hearn161: Come home please Shane

Here's an interesting stat for you, statisticians:

@oilysailor: Most penalties in English league since Aug 2009: Reading 35, Crystal Palace 29, Man Utd 28, Chelsea 28, Southampton 27.

This Alex Pearce business is all a bit too much for most of us.

@JonnyFordham: Unless Pearce signs a new deal with Royals soon, he might be off in January at this rate http://bit.ly/UtoH7N #readingfc
@B3rt1e: @JonnyFordham Brian should still play his best XI no matter what the situation off the pitch is, unless it's effecting his form! #readingfc
@Fridays_Legacy: Brian isn't helping himself at all with his team selections. I like BM but I don't feel he can keep us up. A win today is a must. #readingfc
@ScottSandover: Before we lost our best players for financial reasons.. Now we're going to lose them because of stupidity..
‏@marksugar: Pearce not even on the bench - LOL #readingfc Shambles

We were all so sure that first win would come against Norwich, until this stat came up.

@GoalUK: STAT ATTACK II: #readingfc seek their first league win since beating Nottingham Forest on April 17. #NCFC want their fourth victory in five.

At the Norwich game, there's more to be embarrassed about than a 0-0 draw.

@SteveG1871: The Star big bad wolf banner is the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen #readingfc

Whilst remembrance is impeccably observed:

@BroadcastMoose: Minutes silence as those lost in conflict are remembered at Reading

pic.twitter.com/8L8Ghi68

Feds looks flashy in Pink.

@ReadingFC: Loving Federici's pink goalie shirt by the way! They'll all be auctioned off for charity btw #readingfc

pic.twitter.com/OzRJwGRn

And Chris Gunter has not impressed one fan.

@TFootballFamily: Right: Who is the worst player in the Premier League? For me: Chris Gunter. No positional sense, can't pass, can't cross, can't defend.

Exciting news, everyone, Football Focus is coming to the 'Ding!

@mrdanwalker: By the way, next Focus on the road will be at Reading on the 29th December #MerryChristmas

#cerealquest

@seanmorrison_91: Decided i'm going to go through every cereal EVER made & give an in depth analysis & ratings on each 1,quest 2 find the greatest cereal!
@mould2k: @seanmorrison_91 Are you the right man for this task? What are your cereal-based qualifications? #cerealquest

And finally, the transfer speculation everyone is talking about... ANDREY ARSHAVIN!

@JonnyFordham: The Pog tells Arshavin to come and join him at #readingfc http://bit.ly/RCcJnW #afc #Arsenal
@charles_watts: @JonnyFordham Serioulsy?? He's the last player Reading need. Would be a truly dreadful signing. Complete luxury.
@Neal_Hussey: @JonnyFordham we would be silly to turn away a player of champions league quality. Specially when the players we have are mid champ quality
@PRG94: @JonnyFordham Arguably inconsistent, but on his day would be the most technically gifted player in our squad
‏@mould2k: @JonnyFordham If we're looking at out of favour Arsenal players, Ramsey would be a better target. AW not a fan and needs support/guidance
@JonnyFordham: @PaulTowner @Neal_Hussey A six-month loan? Play with your mate and Russian owner who you know - easy isn't it?
‏@JonnyFordham: As expected - #readingfc fans split on Arshavin - McDermott revived the careers of Griffin/ Harte - this one slightly different, mind
@mikewadeESPN: @JonnyFordham Arshavin more similar to Guthrie than Griffin/Harte isn't he?

Ta-daa. What do you think?